I took my girlfriend to an improv show the other night and during intermission we were passionately arguing over whether half a 5 Hour Energy shot would give you 2.5 hours of energy or 5 hours of half-assed energy so we turned around to ask the opinions of the three people behind us and one of them said “Are all your arguments like this because we heard you in the lobby earlier fighting over the right way to pronounce ‘egg’?”
Sam the Cat with Eyebrows and a Permanent Worried Face
You’ll have to excuse this unrelated reblog. I have just never laughed so hard I almost swallowed my hair
oh my god
i need one
GIRLS AREN’T DOGS THEY AREN’T GOING TO COME TO YOU IF YOU WHISTLE AT THEM DON’T WHISTLE AT GIRLS YOU UNEDUCATED HAGGARD
I could have used this information over the last 29 years of my god damn life
My mom taught me to pack like this and she gets mad when I come to visit and sees that I don’t use it.
I need to remember this for uniforms.
Oh my god, I am learning this ASAP. HOW DID I NOT KNOW OF THIS BEFORE?!
aka shit i need to do for con